You work out of a Hotel?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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