Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
