so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
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