I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize