I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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