I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
