You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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