"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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