He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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