WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
