dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
