the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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