Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
