I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize