i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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