you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
