She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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