he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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