everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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