He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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