ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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