You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
