Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize