she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
