I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
