Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
