Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day