The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.