My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...