He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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