Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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