Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate

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  (313): Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate http://tfl.nu/xmwg
  Replies (15) Good night (1388) Bad night (4037)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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  (612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g
  Replies (3) Good night (3563) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  booty call

  (925): View more from California

  i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.

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  (408): booty call (925): i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy. http://tfl.nu/xuna
  Replies (60) Good night (1184) Bad night (5922)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  worms taste like bacon by the way.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I always wondered what they tasted like.

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  (813): worms taste like bacon by the way. (1-813): I always wondered what they tasted like. http://tfl.nu/a7qy
  Replies (9) Good night (1301) Bad night (3257)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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  (606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4
  Replies (15) Good night (5649) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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  (228): He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him. http://tfl.nu/emw6
  Replies (10) Good night (1179) Bad night (2771)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

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  (206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4
  Replies (1) Good night (2179) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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  (401): We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/48jv
  Replies (8) Good night (3426) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (877): View more from

  Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik

  (877): View more from

  Lyk hr kuds 4

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  (877): Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik (877): Lyk hr kuds 4 http://tfl.nu/neej
  Replies (12) Good night (880) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2151) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.

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  (781): You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/nrl0
  Replies (11) Good night (1529) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car

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  (803): Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8fhk
  Replies (6) Good night (1100) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'

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  (401): My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.' http://tfl.nu/jt97
  Replies (11) Good night (1981) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No piss test, hell yeah

  (248): View more from Michigan

  FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.

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  (248): No piss test, hell yeah (248): FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS. http://tfl.nu/hck1
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No worries I have vodka. Its always on time

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  (541): No worries I have vodka. Its always on time http://tfl.nu/sdpy
  Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (195)

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