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• (303): View more from Colorado

  There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Why does tequilla always make you text me?

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.

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• (212): View more from New York

  last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me

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• (315): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.

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• (077): View more from

  I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night

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