just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF