Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

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(770): View more from Georgia

The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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(406): View more from Montana

She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??

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(732): View more from New Jersey

4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move

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(518): View more from New York

I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.

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