Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"

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(952): View more from Minnesota

well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

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(903): View more from Texas

Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Me specifically?

(903): View more from Texas

Yep.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

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(312): View more from Illinois

She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...

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(850): View more from Florida

My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?

(1-850): View more from Florida

It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?

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(937): View more from Ohio

The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk

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(806): View more from Texas

He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet

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