my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
