This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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