Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
