Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I deserve to be covered in dicks
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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