The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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