so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
