So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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