I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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