He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
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I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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