oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
