I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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