I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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