Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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