I need to stop coming to work sober
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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