How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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