Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
