Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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