I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
