Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
