Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm going to jail i love you
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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