do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Less talking, more tequila
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
