i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
