i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
