would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
