at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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