I'm so fucking centered right now
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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